Fostering includes needs of biological parents
Foster parents Josh and Katherine Moyers said it was a “burden for our community in Ellijay” that began their journey into foster parenting. They have taken two infants into their home since 2016.
“(We were) just wanting to love on them and be a help in any way that we could, and see what God would do through that,” Katherine said recently. “We really felt like God was saying, ‘Take care of orphans’ (a verse from James 1) … there’s not an orphanage in Ellijay, and a lot of kids can’t be with their parents or are fatherless or don’t have a mom.
“That just broke our heart.”
Josh Moyers is associate pastor at First Baptist Church of Ellijay, which includes youth ministries. They have two daughters of their own, and their foster children have lived with them one at a time.
“Katherine and I have decided to do foster care with one of the boundaries being we want to take children younger than our own,” Josh said. “Originally, we said we’re only going to take girls, but the odd thing is we’ve only had boys so far in foster care.”
“It’s changed our lives in the best way,” Katherine said.
How so, she was asked.
“You love on that child just like they’re your own, and to experience that is really heartbreaking,” she said. “But it’s one of the greatest joys I’ve ever experienced. It’s the hardest and best thing, I would say.”
“We were used to girls — since we have two of our own biological girls — so we thought we’d be able to take care of girls better,” Josh added. “But when we had our first foster boy, you just learn differently. He’s 4 now, (our) girls are 10 and 8. He went to another foster family and is in the process of being adopted now.”
“We still have close connections with him,” Katherine shared.
“The other foster child we had is back home with his biological mom now,” Josh noted. “He was one (where) we were just respite care, which is basically we’re going to baby-sit for awhile while the actual foster parent takes a break. We had him for the day, and it was that night DFACS actually said, ‘Would you mind taking him?’ We didn’t know if we were ready yet, (because) we were still trying to get over the emotional loss of our last foster kid.
“But that little boy just completely attached to Katherine. I would be holding him, and if Katherine would just walk by, he wanted her, he would cry for her. We got him when he was 6 months old, and he stayed with us until he was 17 months old … it’s not just letting a kid come to live with us for a short time. It’s yours for a short time. (We feel) God has given you to us to care for you, and we’re going to do that.”
Currently, the family has no foster children in their home. The couple was asked how they deal with the foster children leaving
“It’s a loss,” Katherine said. “It’s a joy in the sense that you know their parents are doing well. I’ve always wanted to develop a relationship with the birth parents, and so far each time I have … it’s a grieving, such a process. The table seems empty, the rooms seem more quiet, it’s hard cleaning up their toys when they leave. There’s an emptiness there, for sure, and I don’t think you ever get over it.”
How do their girls take it?
“It was just a couple of days ago our 8-year-old told us that she cried herself to sleep because she misses our last foster boy so much … and he’s been gone since last October,” Josh recalled. “Our girls view a foster kid as ‘That’s my baby brother.’”
“And they view it as, ‘We’re doing this because this is what Jesus would do,’” Katherine added. “He would love on them, and they really do completely understand it. We include them in the process when we take a child. We talk to them first before saying yes. We ask them their thoughts on this, and we pray about it. The last child we had, when I was just asked to baby-sit him for the day, they said, ‘Mommy, can we foster him, please?’ …
“My love for them never stops – it was just like I had a child. It’s grown me closer to the Lord ... One of the things God showed me was it’s his heart. He invented orphan care and it’s he who equips us. We’re not able to do it without him. As this child was in our home, it was like watching the love of God be lavished on these kids. This little baby just needed a place where he was nurtured and loved. To witness that in my home, to see my girls loving on these children ... they both adore babies.”
Josh was asked about their calling to foster.
“To a certain point, I think all Christians are called to do some sort of sacrificial living,” he replied. “In James, it says true religion is caring for widows and orphans … all Christians are called to love their neighbor. There are things all Christians are called to do, but how that actually plays out is a little bit different because I don’t think you should expect that all families will be able to open up their home and have foster children. But the church as a whole should have a priority for caring for the poor, for those in need, for those that are hungry, for those that can’t care for themselves.
“For Katherine and I personally, we don’t have a big home. Obviously, we don’t make a lot of money, but it’s one of those things that (we think), why not do this? We can do this. We love kids, we love working at a church where we can bring kids to church. They can hear about Jesus not just at our home, but also hear about him in an environment like (the church), and to see other families who say we can’t foster like you are, but we can support you.”
Have the girls asked about taking another foster child?
“Yes, I think they are ready,” Katherine said. “They keep asking, and they want to keep doing it.”
So, in essence, aren’t they raising a couple of potential foster parents themselves?
“Possibly,” Katherine said with a smile.
“Our goal is to raise our girls to be world changers, and not just to conform to the world, but to be the mission of Jesus,” Josh explained.
“We want them to be compassionate, we want them to know a heart of compassion,” Katherine said.
“My heart breaks for the birth moms … keeping in touch with them has been one of the greatest blessings for me,” Katherine said of her reasoning for the project. “That is not the case with every foster family, and it’s not expected. But if I can invite them to church, or to go to coffee with them, if I can, in time — and I’ll know when the time is right — have a relationship with them and support them in any way, pray for them, text them, call them, see how they’re doing. My heart is for that, as well. Some parents are more open to that than others.”
“(The purpose is) we want to be able to help foster families, because that’s a huge need — diapers, food and wipes and all these other expenses start to pile up,” her husband Josh pointed out. “Fostering Roots comes in and says, this is very new to you, and we’re going to bring you a meal or be the church and help others. We’ve had the opportunity to have contact with not only the bio mom, but also the boyfriend of the bio mom ... It’s been a blessing to us to be able to be the ones to work with the bio family.”
“If you can continue that relationship once the child leaves — to be a support in any way — I feel like God’s heart is for them as well,” Katherine said. “He cares for them … yes, they need to do what they need to do to get their child back, and you hope that they stay that way. But I would see God not giving up on them, and continuing in relationship with them.”
A Facebook page for the ministry can be found by searching Fostering Roots.
‘Fostering Roots’ in the community
Katherine Moyers has birthed Fostering Roots, a community-wide ministry and support group to foster children and foster families in Gilmer County.
FaithBridge Care statistics:
(One of the largest child placement care agencies in Georgia)
﹣ 21.5 – Average number of months children spend in Georgia’s foster care system
﹣ 88 percent increase in the number of children in the system over the past five years
﹣ 45 percent removed from homes because of neglect
﹣ 14,300 children currently in foster care
(Stats from July 2019, faithbridgefostercare.org)