Longs are foster parent veterans of just 8 years
Dustin and Melissa Long have no biological children, but that hasn’t stopped the couple from reaping the joys, and challenges, of child rearing through becoming foster parents.
They’ve adopted four of the foster children in their care — two boys and two girls, ages 9, 8, 6 and 5 — and now have a new foster child, a 7-month-old boy. They’ve been “fostering” now for eight years.
“We felt the Lord had sent us on this journey; it was a burden that we had,” Melissa said. “So we were just trying to follow God’s Word and help out with his children.”
She believes they have housed around 60 foster children through the years, some less than a day in emergency situations.
“We kinda lost count,” she said. “We were doing a great job of trying to keep up with it, because we always wanted to know who they were and their names, and if anything ever happened they would know we’d be there for them. But lots of kids would come at 2 o’clock in the morning and would be gone the next day at 6 a.m. Some would stay two days, some would stay two years.”
Melissa was asked about the steps she and Dustin had to take to become the parents of kids whose parents weren’t capable — short- or long-term — of providing stable, nurturing care.
“We went to foster classes, a four-day class, I think,” she said. “There was a procedure where they came out and checked your home — you had to have safety measures completed, they had to check your water, you had to (give them a copy of) your marriage license, all of your pet records, all of your immunizations. You have to have references and background checks.
“If you have a pool, you have to have a certain type of fence. If you live by the water, you have to have water (safety) training. You have to be CPR-certified. And each year, you have to have a home re-evaluation.”
Melissa was asked about the rewards of raising children who are not theirs biologically.
“This has been the biggest blessing we’ve ever received, other than our salvation, of course,” she replied. “It’s just so wonderful to see children who are so broken finally get a smile on their face, and to see that there is a difference in their way of life — and to point them to having a better life with no drugs, no alcohol, going to church, actually attending school and getting regular doctors’ appointments.
“Just knowing that the children have a safe place — whether it be for an hour or a year — just knowing that they’re safe for that moment. And hope that something will spark with them to want to go and better themselves.”
Melissa called the “reunification” between foster children and their birth parents incredible to watch.
“It’s amazing to watch a mom or dad get off drugs and work for their child,” she shared. “Another big blessing for me is working with the family and trying to help them. It’s not just about the child, it’s about the family and your family becoming one, basically. That’s been a huge blessing, being a part of them realizing that they have something more to live for than the negative, such as drugs.”
How about any downside of fostering?
Melissa said one is watching children go in and out of foster care when their parents cannot carry through on their commitment to give them a stable home environment with permanency.
“That’s hard on the kids,” she pointed out. “Another sad thing is that we have such few homes, and people look at you all the time and say, ‘Well, I couldn’t do what you do — I’d get too attached.’ And you’re like, ‘So I’m not?’ Thanks for the comment! Because we are attached, and we cry all the time. But the Lord has blessed us, and through our tears and our prayers, he’s guided us on this journey.”
There are critiques as well, Melissa has found.
“(People might say) there’s no way you can help all those kids, you’ve got too many in your house,” Melissa related. “Well, OK, if more people would open their house, then we could do a better job. I believe we have 11 (foster) homes right now (in the county). Almost every home is maxed out, and so tons of kids (are placed) all over the state, some out of state, and it is a very sad situation. It would be great if the community came together (on this).
“But it doesn’t have to be that you take five or seven or nine kids. You can take one … you can be very specific. Right now, any and all help would be greatly appreciated. If someone would just open their heart — and home — to just one.”
Melissa said there are other misconceptions about foster parenting, such as the children hindering one’s career. She and Dustin both have full-time jobs.
(A Facebook page can be found at Gilmer County Foster Parent Support. For more information about foster parenting, call the Department of Family and Children Services at 706-635-2361.)