Let me combine my own foods

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Heinz went into its new product, a combination of ketchup and mayonnaise, face first, apparently. 

Mayochup is the name of the new product, according to a story in USA Today from last week.

Problems arose when people who spoke the language of the Cree, a member of the First Nations group, heard the name.

In the story, Arok Wolvengrey, professor of Algonquian languages and linguistics at First Nations University of Canada in Regina, Saskatchewan, points out the problem with the new product’s name. It combines two Cree words which end up being the equivalent of “poop face.”

Not the first time corporations have gone wrong with a name. Chevy had problems selling their Nova in Spanish-speaking countries. “No va,” means “doesn’t go” when translated.

Who wants to buy a car which doesn’t go anywhere?

My problem with Mayochup extends to more than just the name. Do they really think we are so lazy we can’t combine our own condiments?

Are we so lazy we can’t combine our condiments?

OK, I can see the value at a picnic where you don’t want to have a mayo jar open with flies buzzing around it and someone licking the knife and sticking it back in the jar, but that is a narrow window. And, we already have mayo in squeeze bottles.

It all started with Goober Grape, a combination of peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. A product for people who could not handle opening two jars when making their PB&J.

Smucker’s missed the boat if they didn’t start producing it in tubes. Eliminate the need for a spreading implement.

Some person out there, and you know who you are, could be subsisting by just squirting Goober Grape into their mouth and throwing a few crackers in afterward. 

No dishes to wash. No utensils.

Nothing compares to the absolute abomination Mountain Dew and Doritos allegedly joined together to create.

Behold Dewitos.

That’s right, Doritos flavored Mountain Dew. Drinkable food is the future of soda.

It was test marketed in 2014, according to the website mountaindew.fandom.com, but was supposedly killed off because of public outcry.

In the comments section, someone said it is due out in September 2019. I hope they are trolling us and this stays contained deep in the Pepsi vault.

Peanuts and Coke are a southern staple. At least Coke never grabbed Planters and tried to make a deal.

Or did I just jinx us?

Andy Ashurst is the publisher of the Times-Courier. He can be reached via phone, 706-635-4313, or email, publisher@timescourier.com.

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